About Me

My passion for talking therapies started when I studied Psychology at University. My final year option covered different theories and I became increasingly interested in attachment theory and how important it is that we are nurtured by our parents or other significant carers. I learnt about the things we need in order to thrive in life as we move into adulthood and what happens to us when we don't.

In addition, I was fascinated with how we respond to stress, especially why some of us are more resilient to challenges than others and what we can do to replace what is missing to help us cope and eventually bounce back to a state of calm, or a regulated nervous state.

During a particularly difficult time in my life, I accessed some counselling myself. Thanks to the counsellor, who was warm and genuine, this was the start of a great journey of self discovery for me. Incidentally, I was around 47 at the time, so it is never too late to start your own journey!

Image by Giulia May

Counselling helped me to realise that the struggles I had been having throughout my life (low mood, high functioning anxiety, low self esteem) were, in part, due to the fact my childhood was missing some of the vital elements I mentioned earlier. This is something I often encounter with my clients. I am sharing my experience because we are often led to believe that we are 'stuck', cannot change or improve things for ourselves. I feel I am proof of that because I had counselling with some great counsellors and because I started to learn about myself. Once I had the self-awareness things started to drop into place,a bit like a jigsaw!

In addition to this, during my teens I experienced a number of Adverse Childhood Events (ACEs). Again, this is something I find is often present in the timelines of my clients.

In the1970's when most of my ACE's happened, mental health was only ever talked about in hushed voices, if it was mentioned at all. As a result, I didn't receive any form of formal support ie counselling, signposting or pastoral care at school. In addition, it was generally believed that children were not affected by grief or stress. 

Over the years the times I had been listened to by someone who was warm, empathic and non-judgemental seemed to help immensely.

I will bring all these qualities into my work with you as I believe they are essential to the self-actualisation process.

These are the 'Necessary Conditions', attributed to Carl Rogers and form the basis of some, but not all, counselling approaches.

Image by Eugene Chystiakov

Counselling can help you to 'find' yourself' or  'self-actualise'

In 2016 after qualifying, I started my private practice so that I could help others to discover more about themselves especially if low mood, low self esteem or chronic, high-functioning anxiety were making daily life a struggle. and particularly if this is connected to a difficult childhood. I have expanded my practice so that I also see clients who have concerns related to grief or loss, especially if this involved the psychological loss of a person due to brain injury, memory loss, dementia, addiction or severe mental illness, rather than a physical loss. This type of loss of a person is called Ambiguous Loss and is something many of us encounter in the course of our lives without it being recognised, by society or even ourselves. 

A bit more about me....

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Outside of the therapy room, music has been, and always will be, a huge part of my life. I love how I can choose a genre to reflect or encourage a certain mood, hence my love of most genres! I listen to  everything from Celine Dion to the Beastie Boys.

I especially love to play rap very loudly in the car.

I have a cherry red/natural fade Mapex drumkit, which I play to an acceptable standard (mainly indie and rock). I also go to concerts when I can and the local music festival, although my dream is to attend one of the larger ones.

I have never been typically 'sporty', but have have always danced; again a mixture of styles, including ballet, streetdance and latin streetdance. I was once a member of an african/bellydance fusion dance troupe.

Image by Max van den Oetelaar

When I need to relax I have a mindful focusing and breathing practice that I do that helps me to feel grounded. I am very partial to watching a great sunset and my favourite place to be is by the sea.

I also enjoy walking, especially at my nearest NT property, Lyme Hall & Park and the Middlewood Way.

More recently I have become interested in all things creative (mainly watercolour and scrapbooking) both for enjoyment and for it's therapeutic value. I recently decided to bring this into my counselling practice, for more info on that click here.